There are always 3 sides to the story: Yours, Mine and the Truth

So I had some time to think on the train ride home.
And I take it all back, the stuff I said I said in the previous post.

Because within two minutes, you made me realise that I went too far.
And although its only sunken in today, rest assured that I understand what you meant.

'Cause as much I'd like to have myself believe that I'm mature enough, its plain to see how immature I want in that aspect.

And maybe, fear isn't such a bad thing. 'Cause it least it'll ensure that my feet're planted safely on the ground.

I wish you'd trust me just a little more.
I wish you'd maybe realise I'm not a bad kid and even the best kids lose focus once in a while.
I wish you'd trust my discernment.
I wish you weren't angry.
I wish you'd stop treating me like I'm 6 and not 16
I wish that you'd realise you're suffocating me with your protection.
I wish you'd realise how sad I am right now.
I wish you'd see all the things I've overcome.
I wish you'd see just how hard I've fought to win the battles.
I wish you'd see the person I've become, the one that everyone except you can see.
I wish, oh I wish.

The Truth.
Only time can tell, what the truth really is.

In the mean time, I shall drown myself in activity in an attempt to distract myself from the sadness hovering around me.

My worry is, what do I do when activity is too close to the issue?

Screwed up LA presentation.

WAKE UP WAKE UP!
What the hell am I doing?

A light for the way. :)

070210

" But the real things have not changed. It is still important to be truthfu and loyal; to do the best you can; to make the most of your talents; to be happy with the simple things in life; and to believe deep down that you will ultimately triumph if you try hard enough to prove your worth."



I learnt that some people will go against all odds to achieve what they want.

I learnt that we are indefinitely stronger than we think we are.
I learnt that there is nothign more powerful or dangerous than sheer will.
But most importantly, I learnt that the people you face suffering with are the ones that mean the most to you.


But I keep clinging on to the memory afraid to let it go, 'cause I still can't fully decipher the emotion that came along with it.

And its a sweet secret that I keep, one that I'll never forget along with the other events of the day.

But I hope I don't get too lost in the memory. Because for all the moments of adrenaline rushes its given me, its only a memory.

It is ironic, that I like myself best when I'm facing some kind of pain,
because I'm strongest then, most hopeful, most trusting, most loving and most thoughtful then

I learnt that sometimes you have to hit rock bottom, so you can look up and see that while your head was up in the clouds, you didn't see the possibilties in the sky.

But most importantly, I've learnt that the relationships you build will become your most prized posession.

Because if everything else you do goes to waste, when your dog greets you like you're king of the world at 8am on Sunday mornings, everything's okay just for a little while:)

God is great, and life is beautiful, in the way the fragments compose themselves into little skits that always make sense in the end,. It simply is.






As I rattled on about my tiny problem, your problem came as a blow to me,

Silence is Golden

Sometimes its better that they don't know.
Not 'cause its their fault.
Its just that in this case, ignorance is bliss.

You're right, I need to stay focused.

Will I ever have the ending I've dreamt of for so long?
As much as I hate to think of it this way, I'm only human.

Struck down but not destroyed.:)
I'm clinging on with all that I have. Please understand that.

You make it real for me.

Still pinching myself in an attenpt to tell myself the events of the past week were not a dream.
But maybe I don't wanna wake up. :)

And then there's these fleeting feelings.
They seem so temporary at first but suddenly I'm not so sure.
Its beyond all logic to feel this way, but I can't help it.
And maybe, I don't wanna try.
But I did try to ignore them, but it gets harder each time.
So I wait, weak with anticipation, half-hoping you'll never find out and half-wishing that maybe you'll change your mind.
Realise that you judged too quickly and that if you had stalled for even 2 minutes more you would have seen a side completely unbeknownst to you.
And maybe, you'd have liked that side.

And I've figured it out, why these fleeting feelings don't seem so fleeting anymore.
I've realised that for all the things that you're not, there's twice as many things that you are.
And today that's all that matters.

Give me the strength to swallow my pride, and meet you half way.
There's not much more to say about the matter.

Now I'll just leave you all to speculate as I'm certain you will.

A Day to Never Forget

Today has been one of those days that I am so sure I will never forget.

The change in plans, the stress, the chasing of taxis, the cursing and SWEARING the anxiety, the tears and the laughter.

If my life today was an episode of a Korean Drama, it would be the highest rated serial ever.

And there's truly so many things that I am so proud of our team, but they're too many to list here.

But really, you guys have taught me so much within this short period of timr that we've been training together and

PRIDE is the only word to describe how I feel right now. :)
We are winners in our own way, we truly are :)

And thank you everyone who supported us, thanks for believing in us and wanting us to do well. It makes a difference :)

They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not be faint.

We walk by faith not by sight. :)

In a strange way, this is extremely comforting.

The disappointment in your voice, it rips me apart.
The expectations in the silence is deafening.
The sigh you heave makes me want to cry.

I've decided that guilt is the worst emotion to feel, even worse than fear even.
But the worse kind of guilt is the kind when you have no idea what to do make it go away.